Now with such an arrogant title, you would expect something rather spectacular, wouldn’t you? Me and my team have been hard at work for ages to  deliver just such a post. One that will knock you off your feet. First, a little background on what went into this. I’ve spared no expense in pursuing the truth. How can you ever put a price on the value of truth? So it was well worth it. I look back at the countless hours compiling reference material, organizing it and then whittling it down to what follows. We conducted extensive polling over a wide variety of demographics to ensure an accurate result. We hosted public forums to encourage the public’s input into this process. Mailers were sent out to thousands of residents to disseminate the information. Survey teams went door to door to conduct an intensive questioning of those residents. All in all, it was a mammoth undertaking. What was the outcome of our endeavors? The report that follows will be available to the public for a very special price today only. Reserve your copy!

Here it is! The result of all of my work. I’ve determined that…

LIBERALS SUCK!

There you have it. This little exercise in deception just goes to show you how we get sucked in so easily. A catchy headline is all it takes. Now the above statement is, in fact, quite true. However, I did none of what was listed in order to come to this conclusion. I used no stimulus money at all. The federal debt was not increased. No jobs were saved or created. In fact, I have absolutely no staff at all. I was able to come to this epic conclusion all by myself. So should you. You too can be as smart as me. Do your civic duty and educate a liberal today! Our country’s future depends on it!

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