While skimming the news this past week, I ran across the story about the dangerous extreme sport of dodge ball. It made me take pause and wonder how on earth I have survived to this point. When you think back to all of the things we did as kids, it’s really quite an achievement. All the things we used to do before the days of government taking on its role of the great protector, I have to think back. From the beginning then…

I started out as any toddler does, I ate dirt. And crayons (the good old toxic kind). In fact, I had a propensity for the blue ones much to the chagrin of my mother who had to clean the saliva enhanced mess up afterwards. Of course, we can’t leave out the fecal matter that may have been left in the backyard from any number of family pets that I always seemed to locate.

Somehow, I survived those unfortunate instances. As my mobility progressed, I then moved on to sticking things in electrical outlets that didn’t belong there, attaching my tongue to frozen signposts, poking my finger into the eye socket of the family cat for no particular reason and escaping through the doggie door into the backyard at the most inopportune times.

Growing older yet, I moved on with drinking whiskey from my parent’s stash and replacing it with water thinking they wouldn’t notice, swallowing large amounts of gasoline while siphoning free gas from my neighbor’s vehicles and jumping the one-lane bridge on Angle Rd. at very high speeds without knowing if anyone was coming the other way.

Even after reaching adulthood, I continued to tempt fate with exploits such as removing mattress tags from mattresses that I didn’t own, changing my oil filter without a jackstand in place and utilizing the express checkout lane with more than 12 items in my cart.

Heck, just last week I was eating some cantaloupe with the kids and believe or not I added salt to it while surely exceeding my suggested daily intake.

These are just a few examples of ways in which I have thrown caution to the wind and somehow made it out alive. And make no mistake, I was clocked upside the head more than once while playing dodge ball.

Yet today, I am able to support myself without any form of government assistance. I can get by just fine without big brother watching my every move and otherwise saving me from myself.

In fact, I am able to celebrate this Easter Sunday commemorating the resurrection of Jesus Christ without any protection whatsoever from the PC police. So despite the highly publicized risks of being a Christian, holding Conservative political views and believing that the Constitution is still the law of the land, I think I’ve gotten by just fine without the government there to save me, thank you very much. Happy Easter!

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6 thoughts on “Confessions of a risk taker

  1. I just read your post to my wife and we are both laughing our heads off. She wanted me to tell you her and her siblings used to go to the local swimming hole and drive the water moccasins out of the water with their fishing poles so they could go swimming. I could tell you of no end of stunts I pulled with my twin brother, some of which would bring chill bumps on your spine. Yet here we are, all alive and well and doing just fine.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, 5etester. I hope you have a great Easter.

  2. A Happy Easter to you and yours as well Larry. Great stuff on the water moccasins. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could still have that fearlessness as we get older?

  3. Odd what we remember doing as kids and what we won’t allow our own kids to do today, huh? I remember me and my brothers sitting on skateboards and riding them down a steep hill with a sharp curve at the bottom. Nothing like riding a narrow board with tiny wheels down a steep hill at 30 + MPH. Or riding our bikes in the canyon behind our house, doing jumps over the hills and hummocks all the while riding barefoot and no shirt. Or riding in the flood control channels and going through the tunnels for miles. You could climb a ladder at one of the street drains and read a street sign to figure out where you were.

    Happy Easter to you and yours.

    Mike

  4. I remember riding snowmobiles on the ice as you could hear it cracking underneath you. Or the time I winged an iceball at a passing car and nailed it right in the windshield. Turned out to be a state cop. Bad idea. But you know, we try to raise our kids much the same way. They get their bumps and bruises, but they handle things that come their way much better and aren’t fragile. I read sad stories like the two 14 year old girls that committed suicide from bullying and I don’t want my girls to ever get to where they think they have no way out. I step in when necessary, but otherwise I let them work through life’s little glitches on their own and it pays off.

    Thanks for checking in. Happy Easter.

  5. It’s funny that you mentioned eating dirt. There is an explosion of asthma as well as allergies among kids, and the two points aren’t entirely unrelated. A study from an Italian doctor found that African kids are less allergy and asthma-prone than European kids because they consume a lot of “nasty” stuff like bugs in their food. As a result, the composition of their stomach bacteria is much more diverse that European kids, which allows their bodies to resist a greater number of outside “invaders.”

    Anecdotally, my son (4) has consumed several varieties of soil. We’re experiencing a sloppy spring, so basically he goes through at least 3 sets of clothes every day.

    Oh, and he hasn’t been sick in 2 years (other than a weird little barf bug that got everyone in our house). Call it innoculation via mud pie.

  6. Cannot agree more. One merely need look at a typical visit to the family doctor these days. 5-10 minutes in the exam room and the obligatory anti-biotic is prescribed and you’re out the door.

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