Who wouda thunk it? Here all along I thought it was the progressives that have done us in as a civilized society. Yet, after watching a History Channel story about the history of mankind, I now know it was the farmers that did us in. How is this possible you might ask? After all, don’t they feed the masses and allow this wonderful progression of humanity? Not so fast. Here is the story of mankind with some of my own observations as well thrown in for good measure.

Turns out once we discovered farming and evolved from hunter/gatherers, several things happened. It allowed our population to expand from mere millions to the overcrowded billions we now must accommodate. Since we had poor civil planners, this led to the overcrowded urban areas we now suffer with. An industrial revolution later and we end up with death by carbon emitters. Al Gore just told us so when he proposed $90 trillion in infrastructure spending to get rid of those nasty cars before global warming kills us all.

The story also tells us that growing our food is what led to the transmission of infectious diseases as they are easily spread throughout the distribution system. This of course led us to Big Pharma and the scourge of society they have become. Development of modern medicine became necessary to cure these diseases that would have otherwise laid dormant and the greedy capitalists of our health care system forced President Obama to invent Obamacare to save us all from ourselves.

In fact, the invention of farming is to blame for greed itself. Farming created a system of the haves and have nots whereby those with farming skills and the land held an unfair advantage over their less fortunate brethren. This led to violence as the have nots tried to steal what the haves had. Farmers had a shorter lifespan than their hunter/gatherer ancestors accordingly.

Last but not least, farming turned us into nomads in search of our own piece of fertile land so we could become a have as well. We turned our back on community and became individuals no longer searching for the common good but instead intent upon personal gain. We abandoned our redistributive mindset of community first replaced by the profit motive to sell our crops for maximum gain.

You know, I used to think that the progressives just blamed those wascally republicans for what ails us, but in reality they should be blaming the farmers. As you can see, farming started the downfall of society. They said it on tv so it must be true. I mean, come on. Global warming, the health care debacle, overpopulation, greed, disease, urban decay, capitalism and elevating the individual over the collective? Death to farming I say! Return to hunting! Although that may be a bit tougher this go round since they want us to turn in our weapons since they make otherwise good people turn violent.

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